WHO Forgot to Take Out the Meat?

Shoot.
Totally me.
Seriously though guys, I know I am the only person who knows what the kitchen looks like in our house but why is it always my fault when there's nothing to eat?
Likely because this mentality has been passed down for generations. 
Way to go June Cleaver.

SO blame the mom, there's no thawing carcass on the counter.
I guess the mom gets to create something out of, um, hmmm, *digs in the cupboard and back of fridge wildly* quinoa!!

June never cooked with that before.
Me - 1, Mrs. Cleaver - 0!

Now how to make this into a complete meal you say?  Ha, I think I said that about 50 times while pacing the hallway. 
You know what I really wanted tonight?
Chicken parm.
I wanted it because we picked up the most awesome local"ish" buffalo mozzarella and I made a marinara sauce the other day.
Way to go not taking out the chicken!
hmmmmmmm......I wonder..........
You guessed it, I was ready to try something new tonight.
I should really do this more often.  Dinner tonight was AWESOME!

FAUX Chicken Parm, and I still got to use the buffalo mozz and my marinara!

So I do need to tell you it took some time, not like waiting for a cake to cool time but there are some steps.
First you need to rinse or soak your quinoa (I used red and white)

Then of course you need to boil it and let it cool a bit (20+ minutes).
Incorporate ingredients, form, fry and finally top with sauce/cheese and melt in the oven (15+)
Now the combining of ingredients etc. step could likely be scaled back if I had done this before, there were a few minor revisions and near catastrophes.  I'll give you the clean version.

Enjoy!

I'm listening to: Lonely Day - System of a Down

Faux Chicken Parmesan
makes 6 servings

1 c. quinoa
1 1/2 c. water
2 chicken base cubes
1/2 c. finely chopped kale
1 celery stalk, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 egg
1/2 c. shredded mozzarella (not buffalo)
4 tbsp. flour + more for dredging
salt and pepper
1 tsp. basil
egg wash (another 1 egg) & flour coating
marinara sauce
buffalo mozzarella (or regular if you don't have)

First step is to rinse your quinoa in a fine mesh sieve.
Place water into a pot and bring to a rolling boil, add in your chicken cubes.  Toss in your quinoa, stir and place a lid over it and turn down your heat to low so that it simmers for about 15 minutes.

In the meantime, chop up your kale, celery, garlic, cheese and get your egg wash and dredging station ready.

Once your quinoa is ready, remove to a bowl and fluff with a fork, let cool about 5-10 minutes or at least until you can handle it and it wont scramble your egg or melt your cheese!
Preheated your oven to 375F

Add in the kale, garlic and celery, mix to combine.
Next add in your flour, seasonings, cheese and egg.
I suppose you could use breadcrumbs, I didn't.  It might have held together a bit better at the beginning.
My initial reaction was to create patties, add to egg wash and then dredge and fry.  I told you I'm giving you the clean version....don't do this.  It doesn't work well, trust me.

Form about 1/3 c. into balls first.  If you find its not keeping together even this way, add a little more flour or some breadcrumbs.
Roll the balls in the egg wash and then in the flour.
Pop into a frying pan which has been heated (med. heat) with a few tbsp. of veg oil THEN flatten with your flipper. (about an inch thick or so)
Do you call it a flipper?  Spatula? Thingamabob?
Fry for about 4 minutes (depending on your heat range) and flip.  Same time for both sides.
Place on a baking sheet. (I seasoned again with a touch of fresh ground pepper and a teeeensy bit of salt at this point)

Top with sauce and cheese

Bake about 7-10 minute or until warmed and cheese has melted
Goodness, I do well under pressure!

What is your go to recipe in a pinch?