Monday, January 30, 2012

A Revelation and a New Adventure

Hi friends.
Its me.
Are you still out there?  I haven't posted much this month and I'm feeling a tad guilty about it.

While I very seldomly talk about life in one full post there are always little snippets of my world I try to incorporate, but today, I thought maybe I should share some wonderful news with you and a bit of background leading up to it.

You may not know that I have been a stay at home mom for the last 2 years.
I had worked like a dog for most of my short life, always trying to go that extra mile for everyone, no matter what the circumstances or situations were - especially my job.  I was married to it, I loved it, I enjoyed meeting new people, working with my clients and traveling for it as well, not to mention always trying to go the extra distance for my bosses.  Then one day I woke up and my life as I knew it was changing.  And it wasn't for the good, or so I thought!

I like to think it was an act of God, intervening in my crazy life by striking me with some anxiety issues forcing me to re evaluate my career path, my choices, the way I thought and acted because of my thoughts.  I can only now appreciate this.
My body was full of stress and apparently it felt it was time to jump off a cliff, forcing me to recoup.  Seems now, looking back, I can understand how and why it happened but at the time all I could think was "what the heck is going on, am I going crazy, I want my life back" GO AWAY.

I am sure those of you who suffer from any form of anxiety or panic would completely agree when I say that it is the most disturbing thing in the world to go from what we deem is our "norm" to feeling helpless and not in control.  And I'm a control freak - I can admit it.

What did I do?  I cried, a lot, I worried, abundantly, I sought out a councillor to help me understand why and how this happened, and I spent my time in the kitchen.
I've always used the kitchen as my crutch, even when I was younger.  Mad, bake cookies, upset, make a cake.  Therapy with a happy reward :)

This brings me to my new adventure, a new chapter in my life.  Something I hope will continue because it encompasses not only my love of creating and baking but a sort of therapy without the huge bill at the end and I am happy, truly happy to have the opportunity.

I've been interning at a local cake shop 2 days a week!!!
How perfect right?  Mad, bake cookies, upset, make cupcakes!
Its this quaint little nook of a storefront with an antiquey charm, a seating area by a cozy fireplace with a tv that shows! HEAVEN!
Best part of it all?
My boss, Karey.  She's wonderful.  Caring, trusting, appreciative and her passion for what she does is inspiring.  Her cakes are works of art and I wanted to learn from her. 
I'm sure she thought I was crazy offering to volunteer at her new store but for me, it was so much more.
Not only can I do something I love to do, get myself out of the house and interact socially more than the norm and learn some new things but I could do something for her.  I saw my parents start a business many years ago and work feverishly just the two of them, but when they found someone to help them out a few hours a week it seemed to change them, and that's what I wanted to give to her.  A sense of stress release, even if its just a few days a week.
I hope this relationship grows into beautiful pastiage flowers!!

So, I don't need wishes of luck or sympathy for what I have gone through, after soul searching and kitchen creating I am happy with my choices now and only have the future to look forward to - one that allows me to do something for myself, have more time for my family, keep my sanity and hopefully help others!  It;s funny how life can seem to be the way you want it to be until a wrench is thrown into the mix and only then do you realize you have so much more out there!

On that note, I'm making cupcakes as part of a R&D project so that'll be my next post, stay tuned :)
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  1. what a wonderful new adventure!! I hope it continues to fill you with happiness! :)

  2. Congratulations on the internship! I totally understand how cooking/baking can be therapy. Been there; done that. I think you've done a great job of meeting the challenge head on and have come up with an excellent solution. I can't wait for the cupcake recipe.

    1. Thanks :) I have finally accepted what I cannot change and this change is more than I could ask for! xo

  3. Love your revelation and sharing! You are in the early stages of re-inventing yourself, which you will do many times over the next 30 years...savor and enjoy it, let the journey take you where you may not think you want to go...this is what keeps us alive and vibrant!! xoxo Ally

  4. I am so happy for you. The pitfalls in your young life have brought you to today. Be happy, enjoy, grab hold and savour the new journey. .XXXX Carrol G.